The only skill I find my self proud of is my ability to turn the tumultuous torments inside of me into useful threads for others to follow. I knew all those years ago that to live my life with any amount of authenticity I was going to have be able to stand strong during storms that would knock most others down, and learn to thrive from it.
I have had mostly success in this.
The truth of the matter is that beneath the surface, I own a kind of tiredness of Spirit. But even that tiredness cannot mask or dull the edge of the many swelling passions that are always boiling beneath the surface of my smile. Acknowledgement does not equal acceptance however... and that is one of the major reasons for my near constant torment.
I have always embraced and indulged my inner monsters, except for those moments when it was not prudent to do so. And in this last year, I have caged her completely for *Reasons*.
But oh how she is rattling that cage right now... Night sits closer than my very skin, and I can hear so many spirits calling on the wind, voices that cry out on the edge of my thinking, begging for me to Fall.
... Downward it is then.
~A~
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